The Will to Build it
by hopeintheproles
Summary: Very AU. LaylaWill. No flames. What do you do when suddenly the same things aren't enough anymore? Complete.
1. Those who fall have one thing to hide

What do you do when suddenly, the same things aren't enough anymore. They don't provide the same happiness they used to, they don't fill the empty void, the empty space. What do you do when you can no longer provide the will the carry on? What do you do when all you do is pretend there is something keeping you here? How do you turn your life around, and what if you can't. What if living, is not something you agree with. What do you do?

No, I am not living. I am merely existing.

It's not like I have anything to complain about, I used to love who I am, who I was, what I represented. And there is no one to blame, except myself. I carry on with my days, like nothing bothers me, like I'm OK. But is there a point where we all meet our ends, where, pretending doesn't seem like the safest option anymore because your sanity is held by a thin string. Your days grow wearier, and all of a sudden, you can't sleep anymore, you don't see things as clearly. The same things that bring you joy, no longer hold that feeling of safety.

So what do I do? This situation does not bring the best answers, because in the end, someone's always going to get hurt, or blame themselves, when all you wanted to do in the first place was make sure they knew the blame was on yourself. You, yourself can only make yourself happy.

I once heard that only you have the choice of deciding whether or not you can be happy. How does that work when you don't even understand the things you do, the way you react. Whose hands does the blame lay then.

Maybe, maybe we shouldn't be blaming. Blaming is the easy way to make sure the heat isn't on you. But that's not what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to find myself, in a way. Because I think I did lose myself, unintentionally. So, I guess what I'm wondering is where do I start to look?

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

My eyes crack into a thin line, causing my forehead to crease, the sun is too strong. I turn over to avoid the light and let out my breath. My eyes open a little more and I turn off the alarm. Slowly bringing myself into a semi-sleeping position. The day, can only go downhill from here.

I pour myself a bowl of cereal and sit at the table. I slouch over the bowl and rest my hand on my forehead, using my spoon to play with the gooey slop. I raise the spoon and force myself to eat it. Normally I'm so chipper in the mornings, and for awhile, I've been able to fake it, putting on that face, the one where the face is normal but the eyes are hollow. Most people look past it. Don't question things. Because that way, things don't have to change.

I walk outside with my backpack slung over my shoulders and walk slowly to the bus stop. It's a bit earlier than I head out for, but I don't really feel like seeing my parents. I guess I should explain myself a bit. I'm 16 now, a sophomore at Sky High. My hair is still as red as ever but it falls to the small of my back. I still have my powers, the same life, the same friends. I guess I'm the one that's changed.

As the time goes on, I reach the bus stop and sit on the curb, watching some people pass me. 40 year old mothers gossiping loudly as they speed walk throughout town. Business fathers tripping over bicycles and roller skates as they balance their coffee's and briefcases, walking to their volvo's. It's all the same, it's enough to make one pine for change.

I guess I pined in the wrong way.

"Hey." I hear. I glance to the left of me and see my best friend. Will Stronghold, he holds my strong feelings for him alright. Yeah, I know, bad joke. It's early.

I close my eyes, breathe out my nose, run my fingers through my hair and brace myself.

I smile widely, though it hurts, and turn to him.

"Hey!" On the inside I cringe, partly because it's chipper and loud, partly because I have to force myself to be the person I used to love being. The person I can't help but kind of hate. In a typical way of course.

"Are you excited for school?" I ask. He sits down on the curb and smiles, that smile that makes it even harder. The smile that's reserved for Layla. What if I'm not Layla anymore?

"Yeah, I'm as excited as I was yesterday, and the day before, and not to mention the couple of weeks before that." He grins at me once more and adds "You're so silly Layla."

I chuckle and turn my head to the side. Trying to blink away those tears that I have no idea as to why they're surfacing. Did I mention it's the middle of October?

I look out of the bus and stare at the clouds we pass by. I hear my friends and common classmates talking, chattering, telling about their weekends, or how their powers helped in on a prank on the neighbors, or on their parents and siblings. I smile inwardly at the fond memories of when I used to say those things. It hurts me to think of how bitter I've become.

When I've no reason to be bitter at all.

I suppose I'll just stick with the reason that I've lost myself. Confused is all.

Yeah, confused.

I feel someone touch my shoulder, a soft hand resting. I turn my head and look at Will. His eyes are curious and he has a slight frown.

"Are you OK Layla?" He asks.

I smile as best as I can.

"I'm tired, I'll be awake as soon as school starts." He looks at me disbelievingly, I touch his hand briefly.

"Really. I'm OK." As long as you're here.

He nods, smiles lightly, and turns back to his friends.

I feel somewhat better, Will will always be somewhat of a necessity for me. A part of my life, my existence. It makes sense he can bring some of it back together. At least enough to hold me up throughout the day, providing that extra courage to keep pretending.

It's almost ironic really, pretending to be myself is courageous, when all I'm scared is to let people see the real me.

But, maybe I don't want to believe that this is the real me. I won't believe it. A life that isn't living, isn't a life at all. I shouldn't settle for this. I should strive for more. But all I wonder is if I have the will to build it.

I stagger through the day, providing enough courage to make sure people don't question my attitude too much, but not enough to make myself exhausted from all the pretending.

In the end though, I'm usually exhausted by lunch.

I take a bite of my peanut butter sandwich and chew it slowly. Anything else will make me puke. I feel nauseous. A little dizzy, but I shake it out my head and take a gulp of water. I put down my sandwich and lean my head back a little, trying to get any air that passes my way.

"You should eat more." I look to Will and 'smile' while shaking my head.

"I don't know why, but I'm so tired today, I didn't sleep very well last night. I'm sure I'll get a better night's sleep tonight."

It's the way I work best. Acting clueless and making empty promises that the next day or night will always be better.

"You haven't been eating much lately, not this past week. I'm worried."

He is worried. His face shows it, that soft frown that I hate to see him own. That should be for me, I hate the fact I make him this way.

"I'm sorry. I'll eat more, I'll force it if I have to." I take his hand briefly and smile, showing teeth like the good little actress I am. Forcing myself to block out the feeling of his warm hand in my own. How it tingles and how safe I feel.

He smiles a little and places his other hand on top of my own. "I don't want you to force it."

I sigh, and turn my face to my lap, where his fingers are covering my own. I take a moment to relish in it, how good it looks, feels. I turn back to him and smile once more, as best as I can.

"Tomorrow will be better." Will squeezes my hand before letting go. I can't help but think that the sentence was more to convince myself than to him.

I step on the bus wearily and walk unsteadily down the path. Utter exhaustion is all I feel. I see Will waving slightly to me, beckoning me to sit with him. I go over and put my bag down and sit down heavily.

"My god, I can't wait to sleep." I chuckle and he smiles at me.

"I know what you mean, even I'm tired. These classes are finally catching up to me."

I remember smiling a little. And putting my head back against the seat. After that, I think I feel asleep.

When I awoke, we were close to our stop. But that's when I noticed it, I had fallen asleep on Will's shoulder. I move up slowly and look at Will. He's looking at me oddly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

"It's okay" He says "I didn't mind." And he looks quickly to the window.

This is what I fear. Getting too close for my liking. I don't want to bring him down, have to explain myself.

"Do you want to come over today?" Will asks, turning his head back to me.

"Will, umm, I would love to, but I'm so tired. Listen, tomorrow is Saturday, why don't you come over at like 12 or something."

He smiles, and I can't help but smile back. I would feel bad, leaving Will out. He's been worried, he's got a right to be worried. I shouldn't give him a reason to be even more worried.

"Okay." He says.

I shouldn't be the one taking him down.

A/N: Okay, this is my first Sky High FanFic. I've never actually seen Sky High, I've just read the fanfiction so bear with me. I know for a fact that Layla isn't this super depressed, but this is the only category(angst) that I'm good at. Please no flames, I don't take to them well, I often stop stories after I get flames. I'm thinking this will be a two-chapter bit. I would like more than a couple of reviews if possible please.

Thanks.

Alexa.


	2. Those who fall will come to rise

We step off the bus, maybe I was too confused to notice it, too caught up in trying to not feel for Will, but somewhere along the way it had become incredibly rainy, thunder and lightening. Once off the bus, it speeds off to let the other students scurry home and become safe under shelter. I turn to Will, we're already soaked. My house is closer than his.

Screw it.

"Will." I say, I have to slightly yell because of the rain and thunder.

"Yeah?" He asks, hands slightly over his head, as if it would actually prevent the rain from reaching him. A protective bubble that would keep him safe, if only it were real.

"Come on!" I yell, laughing and pulling his hand towards my house. This time though I don't have to fake the laughing.

And so we run, run along the block, laughing, lifting our arms high above our heads, slighting jumping and turning as we run. It is our rain dance, it sets us free, and we fly.

Without our powers.

We reach the end of my house and I push him lightly towards it. We laugh and enter inside the house. Part of me wants me to stop the laughter, the house scolds me, the windows glare. But, the other part tells me to use as much of it I can. So I end the laughter with a smile, looking at my best friend and myself. As we are now drenched head to toe.

I flick the lights on, and look back to Will.

"Are your parents home?" He asks. My smiles slightly fades. I chew the inside of my lip, my mouth. Anything but answering.

"Nope." I say, I add in a smile.

"They're uh, I don't know exactly. Sometimes they just leave."

It's true, I hardly see them at the house anymore, they always come back at night, Sometimes they leave at night, return in the morning, when I'm not there.

"Are you OK with that? I know I wouldn't be." Will asks, bending down to tie his shoe. His brow kind of furrowed, but he asks it casually.

Yes.

"No, not really. I still see them plenty enough. It's not like they're gone 22 hours of the day."

I laugh lightly, trying to make his question seem stupid. But I'm lying, I don't see them, and they are gone. Gone so often, I almost seem orphaned. But somehow I've tricked myself into seeing they'll come back for me. I know it, they wouldn't leave their daughter behind. Who could?

Then again, how come it happens all the time?

"Layla?" I hear Will and I pull out of my stupor. I smile, and grab his hand briefly to pull him into the kitchen.

"You hungry?" I ask.

He smiles and sits down at the table

"Yeah."

"Of course." I say.

"I should have known that"

He shrugs and says "I'm a growing boy."

I snort and pull out popcorn. When it finishes I pull out a bowl and place it in front of Will while I pour out the popcorn.

"I'm sorry I don't have any clothes to give you, unless you want to wear skirts and pink tee shirts." I laugh, and notice that Will and I are still pretty much soaked. His hair is ruffled and damp. Very tempting. Very,

I move to the ground and take off my shoes before I continue those thoughts. I put them in the closet and go back to the kitchen.

"Will?" I ask, he's not there. I move around the kitchen and into the den. I open the closet and see he isn't there.

"Will? Where are you?" I'm getting impatient, I've looked for 5 minutes now. I turn around and walk back to the den, before I enter I hear a very loud.

"BAM!" Yelled into my ear. Will's arms encircle my waste and catches me as I'm pretty much rendered useless from the shock and surprise.

"WILL!" I yell, and I start laughing uncontrollably, Will also, is laughing hysterically. I put my hands in my face and turn around and shove him, hands losing contact.

"You are such a loser!" I laugh and yell through my tears. Will laughs even harder and falls to the floor. I laugh gently and walk to the den. Sitting on the couch and propping my feet on the coffee table.

I look to the outside, the rain is coming down even harder now, it reminds me of the day they first left. The first time, of the many to come. The lights flicker off.

"Shit." I mutter, pulling a candle from the side and lighting it. I lean back into the couch and rest my head back, face reaching towards the ceiling.

The first time they left was at night. They didn't leave a note, they didn't kiss me goodbye, tell me to avoid leaving the house, they didn't give an address, a phone number, a person to call if I got into trouble that would let them know. I can only assume to where they go, but I have no leads, no time to ask them, and no want to know. I'm pretty sure the answer will break my heart.

I take my head off and look around, I see Will leaning against the doorframe. My breathing is quite heavy, I'm pretty sure I'm a moment away from tears.

Will sits beside me and looks me in the eye.

"Layla are you OK?"

"I mean really OK?"

I don't know how to respond, I can only look into his eyes. My eyes feel glassy. Itchy, they hurt. It hurts. Everything hurts.

"Because I've noticed, you're not, you're not the same anymore. You seem so sad, which is so not like you. It doesn't make me like you any less, it just makes me worry. I want to know what happened to the old Layla. Tell me."

I clear my throat and look at his shirt. Damp now, I should probably put it in the dryer.

"I, I umm" I try to talk, I clear my throat, it hurts like I've been crying forever, I haven't cried yet. Not for them, not once for them.

His eyes are intense, focusing on me, what I have to say.

"I don't want to drag you down with me. I don't want to be the one that makes you worry, because I know what it does to me, and I don't want to make it happen to you."

"Layla, I'm your friend-".

"I know" I cute him off "And I'm your friend, but, I can't help but think that I'm dragging you down somehow, by being your friend, and I don't want to end up hurting you by being someone that I can't be anymore. I try, god knows I try, and I think I can become who I once used to be, but I can't end up hurting you in the process, because you're all I have left, you're all I have."

It's taken me all I've got to not cry. And it's worked, but I can't help but let one little tear drop escape. Will gathers me in his arms and holds me to him, close, and safe. I breathe heavily into his neck, letting those few tears fall, making his neck and shirt even wetter.

His hands rub my back and hold me closer, the damp material becomes itchy, while my tears continue to free fall.

"Layla you won't ever have to worry about losing me as a friend. Never, and I'm not all you've got."

"Yes you are." I sob out from his chest, my chest constricting back and forth, making it hard to breathe and talk at the same time.

"They left." I gasp out, feeling a burden lifted. But the words don't stop there. "They left a while ago, leaving every night, going somewhere, coming back when I'm not around. They never left anything, no way for me to contact them." I breathe out letting those new tears fall, fall onto his chest, the material of his shirt, where my head now rests "I never know, when they come back or when they leave. It seems like they're gone all the time now. I don't know why they left or why they don't come back, but a part of me wants to think the reason they leave is me."

I sob. And he pulls me to his face, and all I can think of is that I must look horrible, red nosed, puffy eyes, wet cheeks. He wipes the tears. And tells me,

"You'll never be alone Layla, and the reason you're parents are leaving is not because of you. You haven't done anything wrong."

"Sometimes, not doing anything wrong has nothing to do with it." I tell him, the tears have stopped leaking for now.

"So it has nothing to do with you." He tells me.

I nod. It makes sense, but it doesn't make me feel that much better. And he knows that, I like to think he does. He hugs me again, saying all that he can. My head rests on his shoulder. He rubs my back once more with his left hand, while I focus on my hand playing with his right. Interlocking, tracing his fingers. Anything to keep contact, keep busy.

"Layla." He says quietly. I lift my head and look at him. Our faces mere inches away from eachother. I can't look away from him, and when I move my face closer, so does he.

I can feel his breath on my lips, we're only 1 centimeter away from each other. Our eyes held in the most intense of stares.

And he moves.

I feel his lips cover mine, and I close my eyes in sheer bliss. We move slowly, getting used to the sensual feel that only first-timers experience together. I sink my hands into his tresses of hair that I've wanted to feel in my fingers for a long time now. He takes a step further, deepening the kiss, I moan softly and he pulls me closer, into his lap, running his hands soothingly up and down my back. Leaving a hot trail behind him.

When I feel his tongue on my lips I gasp in surprise, allowing his tongue in. We play together, dueling, fighting. We pull out of the kiss with heavy breathing and stare. In a look of pure lust, love, understanding. I put my hands on his chest and he quickly looks down and back at me. I slide them lower and grip the edges of his shirt, pulling it slowly up. He lifts his arms and allows me to take it off. His skin is slightly tan and cold, from the rain. His hands that are planted on my back slide lower and remove my own shirt, peeling it off of me. Clad in a bra. I lean my body onto his, hoping to warm us up, when in a way, we already have.

"Layla." He whispers, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him fiercely, he responds just as greedily, moving his hands across my almost bare back. He pulls out and switches to my neck, spreading small, warm, little crosses up and down my neck, sending chills through my body. I moan and run my hand down his stomach.

I stand up and he looks confusedly at me. I hold my out and he takes it. Slowly, I walk him up the stairs and into my room.

I close the door and turn to him. I wrap my arms around his stomach and pull him to me, smelling his scent, memorizing it. His hands sink into my hair, forcing me to kiss him, not that I mind. Hot breathe, filled with lust. Slides over our cheeks as we kiss as much as we can. His hands wander to my pants and unzips them. He looks to me for an approval and I nod. He slides them off, it's slightly warmer in my room, but the cool air makes me colder. I kick off my socks and slide his own pants off. I grab him by his back and pull him with me towards the bed. I sit on my comforter and run my hands up his back, kissing his chest, his abs.

He climbs on and rests one leg between my own. He looks down at me, kisses me briefly, and says, "I love you."

I take his hand and kiss each finger, I look back to him and say "I love you too."

And the rest is up to fate

End Chapter

A/N: Okay, the next chapter is obviously the aftermath. I would like, I don't know, at least one review please. Things will get happier, I assure you.


	3. Those who lose, always come to find

I open my eyes lightly and see the perfect morning sky. Skies so blue the ocean Atlantic would be jealous. Not a cloud in the sky. My opened window lets in a lazy breeze, sweeping through the room and placing its wispy arms on my face like cool hands after a long heat wave. Immediately soothing.

I can feel his slow, rhythmic breath on my neck. His soft body, somewhat firm, spooned against my body. Calloused yet warm hands, settling against the skin on my stomach. Keeping me firmly planted against him. It all comes flooding back, the slight slickness of our bodies, sliding against each other, rocking, pacing, pulsing. The soft carnal moans I can feelhim pant in my ear, whispering my name like a secret, one that he has just found. The way our bodies fit so well against each other, filling, touching, grasping, any place we can reach. I can still feel his touches and caresses, handing me aggressively yet protective and careful. The feel of his lips on my neck, my chest, my cheeks. The way his back feels warm and soft as I ran my hands down them, the intense burning that ran in-between my thighs, awakening every inch of my body. The way our bodies stretch, reaching any crevice yet to be filled. And such bliss when our bodies contract. Giving in and surrendering in no way that makes us weak, except from our torturous pursuits.

It's all so clear in my mind. Embedded forever. Will has shown me such tenderness and passion to keep me satisfied for centuries to come.

My smile is content and peaceful, amazed at how an aching body can feel so right, so complete. I breathe in the October air, a smell so natural with succumbing leaves, making the morning peaceful. At ease. Will stirs, inhaling sharply and exhaling slowly, stretching out his leg muscles, awakening his body, greeting the day.

I turn over slightly and glance to him. He meets my eye contact and leans down, kissing me sweetly. Out lips make a small smacking noise from the suction. He smiles lightly and I smile back. Watching those blue eyes, noticing the flecks of brown.

He moves himself between my legs and rests his head sideways high upon my chest, I can feel his cool breath on my skin, ticking slightly. I run my fingers through his hair in a soothing motion, feeling his soft locks brush over my fingers. He turns his head and rests his chin, looking me in the eyes.

"I meant what I said before." he states, his voice a little husky from sleep.

"About what?" I ask, tracing the curve of his lips.

He stops my hand, turns it over and kisses my palm. He looks at me once more.

"About loving you."

I put one hand through his hair and one on his back and kiss him tenderly, slowly, but passionately. I pull back and place my forehead against his own.

"I love you too."

No matter who you tell, no matter what age, you will always hear that you are too young to know love. So you have to make it, and truly know in your heart that what you have is pure. And if you don't, then maybe the world is right, but it's not up to the world to decide.

I flip us over and place both hands above his head.

"You have my heart Will Stronghold." I smile up at him, he grins widely down on me "And I'm trusting that you won't break it."

He brings his hands over and behind my head, craning me up to him and kissing me deeply and longingly.

"I won't." He whispers, after we break the kiss, our faces staying close.

I place my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes, and kissing his neck gently once. My eyelids grow heavy and I feel him run his hands up and down my back, lulling me into a dreamless sleep.

You might say that's he's all I have, really. You'd probably be right, and while I don't know if he's all I need, I know he'll be there. As a friend, a lover, a mentor. I can't tell how long this will last, whether or not we will drift. But I know it's a love that's changed my life, even though it's barely started. Sort of like, defining who I am. Will will always be half of me, who I am, and what I represent. Even if we grow apart in the years to come, your first true love is always the person that makes who you are, changes something about you. Because they've taken any clueless idea that you had about love before, and made them into something that is the sole product of you two together. It could be bad or good, but it's always life changing.

Some might argue that I'm only a high school sophomore, and that I'm too young to give myself to someone, or know what love is. But I'm 16 years old, and I've already been exposed to most things that people see in a lifetime.

But then again, it's not really up to you to decide, is it?

When I awake, it's near 5 in the evening and the day is mixing putting away its paint set, putting those reds, blues, pinks, and yellows down the drain, mixing and stretching across the sky. My lovers arms are wrapped around me, and I've held him close to me, wrapping my arm around his stomach and behind his back. I lift my face to meet his and notice he's still sleeping. How we've slept away most of the day. How it's Saturday night and that Will's parents are probably worried sick he's not home. That he's been gone one night, nearly two.

I run my thumb over his cheek, and say his name "Will."

He inhales sharply and opens his eyes slowly, letting a slow, lazy, grin emerge. Infectious, so I can't help but smile too.

"I hate to say it, but you have to go home, you're parents are probably searching the world for you, you'll get in so much trouble."

In my head this is what I say, in reality I only get as far 'parents', because he's pushed me over back on the bed and kissed me fiercely, laughing and mumbling an 'I don't care' and all of a sudden I've forgotten that it's Saturday, that he has to leave, probably forgotten my own name. Just allowing myself to feel, and appreciate, and love, all that's in my arms, all that's kissing me, touching me.

Loving Will is like allowing myself to eat candy, it's a little bad for you, but so sweet and addicting, so good that I just can't see the bad side of it all. The only thing about that is that there really is no bad side to loving Will. He makes me a better person, a complete person.

And while we make love for the second time this weekend, all I know is that this is where I love him most. With me in every possible way, mentally, physically, verbally. I don't even know if there is a way to be with someone verbally, but I guess with love, with Will, anything is possible. And so I suppose that that existence does not need to be exposed, losing myself could only be found in him.

The End.

A/N: Yay, I'm done. Reviews would be nice, I could do a following epilogue if anyone wanted one bad enough, although, a reason for an epilogue if you want one that badly will be required : )

I'm going to be posting another VERY angsty Layla/Will story soon.


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